gissy truly sux.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

For English, our teacher didn't come yesterday, and we were supposed to watch a movie, pick a character, analyse him/her. The movie.. was "signs". The one with Mel Gibson.

Yesterday, we didn't do it, cause we couldn't hear the thing.. Today, we watched it, and I got totally freaked out. I don't like seeing creatures.. Weird creatures.

After the show, I got freaked out four times. And I kept screaming when anything little happened.

1. During Literature, Rachelle had to "present" her ideas about some chapter in the Literature book. I was idling.. Kinda. And then.. Rachelle was giving some example.. So when she was thinking, her gaze was focused on a point between two people. And there wasn't anyone between them. I wasn't looking there. Rachelle suddenly went "Oh my god.". I freaked out. She was just giving some example of a feeling.

2. Sometime after school, my dear and I went to the toilet, and I went into the first cubicle. When I came out, my dear was facing me, standing right in front of my cubicle, but she was staring at the second cubicle. She went "Oh my god." I freaked out. Oh, it was nothing..

3. A mynah flew overhead in the canteen. I usually don't scream. I SCREAMED. The whole canteen went silent for a while.

4. My file dropped, and I screamed. Scared a few people.

Rachel Cham and I went home together after drama. Well, she didn't really go HOME, she went for tuition. But yeah. We took the bus numbered 36 to Changi, then we stopped and hopped into NTUC to get drinks. I wanted coke, but didn't see any.

However, the FIRST thing that Cham took me to.. Was the fridge. Ben and Jerry's ice cream! There were the COOLEST flavours there! I was SO tempted to buy them. 53's sudden arrival made me run away from them.

Oh yeah, Happy Ash Wednesday, people.

No, I didn't abstain from meat. I had 1/4 of a bowl of fishball noodles. And vegetarian fusilli, and some fruits, a little agar-agar, and two packets of winter melon tea.

That's all for today.

Oh, and some coke and around half a packet of Bugles "sour cream and chives" crackers.

..Moving on.

You know, I feel like such a secret-keeper. I seem to be nice and trustworthy.. People trust me. I don't know why.

People, I sometimes get sick of it. It complicates my life, and being the wimp that I am, I'm afraid that everything will backfire and I'll be the selfish, scheming one who held all the secrets, knew everything, but pretended not to (..Did I? I can't be sure, really.. Can't remember anyways. :P).

I was chatting with Sherrie.

Oh.. Forgot to mention. Guest starring: Sherrie Tan, my drama junior. :D

gissy. says:
*sighs* You know what?

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
?

gissy. says:
I'm SERIOUSLY sick of everything..

gissy. says:
Its so.. complicated.

gissy. says:
I'm sick of everything.

gissy. says:
I'd rather all this never happened.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
duh

gissy. says:
Its complicating everything, and its making people unhappy, and its making people frustrated and pissed off.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
hmmmm

gissy. says:
Some get amusement from all this.. I do, sometimes, but sometimes when it concerns me, I just.. don't respond as enthusiastically.

gissy. says:
I'm being quite unfair, right?

gissy. says:
Like.. I can do all this to others, but they can't do that to me.

That kinda gives you a teensy idea of what's going on in my life. What I'm feeling, yadda yadda.

More..

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
sorry im not in the very right mood tongiht.

gissy. says:
No worries.

gissy. says:
I'm not too.

gissy. says:
I feel like such a failure too..

gissy. says:
I mean, I'm your senior. I'm everyone's senior, except for the seniors.

gissy. says:
Uhh.. Confusing?

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
thats besides the point

gissy. says:
It isn't.

gissy. says:
As in.. I'm supposed to be setting a good example.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
seniors have feelings too.

gissy. says:
But no.. What am I doing? NOT setting a good example.

gissy. says:
I mean, yes, I have feelings.

gissy. says:
But.. I seem "righteous" at the wrong times.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
aiyarh

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
dont think too much larh

gissy. says:
Just today, my dear and I went out for a while ya?

gissy. says:
We were supposed to be practising.. And we figured that the reason our part went so disgustingly bad was cause we didn't get the right emotion.

gissy. says:
So.. I asked her what I usually did that pissed her off.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
uh huh

gissy. says:
She said that it was me making decisions when I have no right to, and I'm not the one in charge.

gissy. says:
I didn't take it too seriously then. Cause it would've made everything awkward.

gissy. says:
We're supposed to be professional.

gissy. says:
There must be a clear line between acting and our dumb personal stuff.

gissy. says:
So.. I didn't take it too seriously.

gissy. says:
But it wasn't easy.. And now that I think about it.. She's right.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
hmmm

gissy. says:
And I feel terrible.

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
orh

·$26 not just rainbows and butterflies. ·0 says:
hah

gissy. says:
Something like that..

gissy. says:
I'm so.. I don't know what I'm feeling.

I feel like such a.. traitor. I've always wanted to be scheming, a bitch, but the kind that everybody looks up to, respects, and likes.

I feel like.. some.. Damn, there's a word for this. What do you call those things who pretend to be something that they're not? Pretend to be something nice that they're not. Forgot.. Can't think clearly these days.

I'm not scheming on purpose. I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about at the moment. What IS the scheme? I don't know.. I'm very confused right now. Its just that I've all these secrets with me.. And I feel like that thing (refer to previous paragraph). Oh.. Is it corrupted? Something like that. Yeah, I feel like a corrupt person.

If given a chance, I can burst out crying any moment. I think its got something to do with me being shaken by the dumb "Signs" show.

Hence, my msn personal message says: Fine. Want me to be serious? I'll BE serious. Just watch me.

Its gonna be so freaking difficult. Please don't mock me or laugh at me if I fail terribly. I might just decide to not be serious again. Perhaps its just cause I'm sick of everything at the moment.

I know I'm making myself seem pathetic in this whole post. Who cares? As long as I get sympathy. No, really.. I swear. I'm doing this to get sympathy, as well as record stuff that happens in my life in better detail. My anti-drug diary has very limited space.

If I have a proper plain book, I'll spend hours writing my entries. Might as well blog happenings. I type faster than I write. LOADS faster. But yes, there is a limit to what I can blog about. I'm too wimpy, remember?

P.S. The above conversations were MILDLY editted to remove bad English. Words like "AIYARH" do not count. I can't replace them. They're not my words, I've no right to, yeah? :D

darkness falls at 8:00 PM