gissy truly sux.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Sometimes I look at others and I wonder "Would I have been like that if this didn't happen?"

I sent him an email today. It's been, what, slightly over three years?

He actually replied. Yeah, I've seen him around on msn. I just never got around to starting any form of a conversation.

I was too.. scared? Ashamed of myself? Uncertain? Was I filled with hatred? Uncertain hatred? Uncertain nonchalance now since it's been so long?

I don't know.

Hey, that's it. I just didn't know.

What to say. I couldn't do anything.

What if I was right? What if I was wrong?

Apparently he hasn't really moved on. I mean, he's tried, I suppose, but to no avail.

Which just makes me feel oh-so-much-worse.

Was playing fk today. Oddly, DEJA VU. Same thing happened on fk. Odd, huh?

No, honestly, this post is more for myself than anyone else, so don't bother asking me "Who is HE?" or "What is fk?". I don't like explaining such things.

Such remorse, such remorse. He hasn't moved on. They're just not his kind.

I haven't told him about him yet.

I didn't want to. Not yet, at least.

And I don't know what to say. All I can say is "sorry". And "I'm so sorry.". And "I'm truly sorry.". And "I sincerely apologise.".

Why? Because I learnt that I was wrong. What would it be like if the last thing didn't happen? Would I be happier?

I don't know. Probably.

Approval? No, I don't think so. Asian culture, perhaps.

To think I just played a character that was so intent on breaking free from convention.

darkness falls at 8:34 PM

Eyes which don't know impurity look at me,

Reflecting the forever endlessly continuing earth,

Tracing the remains of my forgotten tears with a little finger.

about me.

Don't you WISH I would describe myself here so that you can find out more about me, or find something disgusting to gossip about?

I am a Scorpio. (Also known as "Scorpion") My Horroscope starts like this:
" Scorpios are highly dangerous, even at a distance. They cheat and lie, live for intrigue, and take pleasure in destroying. " (Read more | Find yours)